


My Angel

by fiveysbrokenstar



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, M/M, human!Cas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-10
Updated: 2013-04-23
Packaged: 2017-12-04 21:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/715522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveysbrokenstar/pseuds/fiveysbrokenstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After going through a type of bootcamp for angels training them to be servants of Demons, Cas was auctioned off, yet not to a demon as everyone there thought he would be, but to the one that loves him and would risk anything to save him. This is after he was rescued and brought to a small motel. He falls from grace, which is a painful process.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Castiel was afraid, being forced across an auction platform. If he looked up, he knew he would see a sea of black eyes. Yet when he looked up, he saw exactly what he thought he would and one thing he didn’t expect at all. The handler kicked the back of his knees, spurring him towards the center of the stage. 

Dean was standing in a crowd of demons, waiting to rescue his angel. He loved Castiel more than he would ever admit, and to see him beaten, battered, and emotionally broken, it killed him a little inside with each passing second. He wasn’t quite sure how he was even able to keep his temper from flaring, he guessed it was part of his protective instinct over the angel, but he couldn’t help it. He wished so much that he was able to dampen his obvious pain with every growing second. 

Castiel’s wings were bound tightly by ropes dipped in Holy Oil the angel lowered his head, knowing that they would likely follow his gaze and spot Dean. Thought so much that this was a trick, a final attempt to break his will and he couldn’t even try to do anything about it. His wings fluffed out, his last shards of grace still insisting on putting up a fight. This earned another slew of Holy Oil to be dumped on him. He kept his head up as long as he could before having to lower it again, the pain tingling up his neck. Dean was doing his best to keep his temper under wraps, but it showed instead after the angel’s name had been announced when the bidding had soared higher. Dean knew he would give anything to rescue his angel because the fact remained that he loved the angel and was very, very protective of the angel. 

Castiel felt a scream building up in his chest, yet he couldn’t let himself scream, it was a sign of weakness and signs of weakness deserved punishment. Everything he did deserved punishment and punishments were harsh. The bids were growing ever higher and it confused the angel just why Dean would go to such legnths to save him. He loved him but that wasn’t something he felt that needed to be admitted and yet, he felt like he needed to admit it and wished he had already, but he hadn’t, not by a longshot. It wasn’t long before he was brought back to Earth when the auctioneers gavel sounded, ending the bidding. He was kicked in back of the knee by his handler and led to a pick-up center, instead of the communal cage, which was not for the angel’s convenience but more for the customer, though they would likely get some sort of sick satisfaction from seeing the way they were treated. 

The handler tightened the ever-present collar a notch and whispered grim reminders of what was to come. Castiel’s wings ached and he was hurting, the pain was nearly unbarable. Dean strode in the pick-up area confidently. He only had a few minutes to go and he could take his angel out of there and they would begin the process of healing him both physically and emotionally, each would take some time and yet they were completely necessary. The handler smirked when he saw Dean walk in. 

“Would you like to brand him, or would you like us to do it for you,” he asked as cooly as if he were asking if Dean wanted coffee or tea. 

“I’ll brand him myself,” Dean replied, somehow managing to keep himself calm, he really didn’t want Cas to pick up on that at all, it would cause him more stress than needed. 

Dean paid the man and took the lead. He led Cas to the Impala and opened the passenger door for him. He knew, however that as soon as he got far enough away that it was safe, he would cut the ropes from the angel’s hands and wings and that collar had to go as well. He drove about a mile and a half away before steering the Impala off the road and putting it in park. He grabbed a Swiss Army knife and he cut off the ropes and took the collar off. Castiel glanced up at him, a bit surprised at the gesture. Dean made sure he had a comforting look in his eyes. 

“It’s alright, everything will be just fine,” he murmured before steering the car onto the road. 

About ten minutes later, he pulled into a motel parking lot and opened the passenger door. Cas got out of the car, careful not to get blood anywhere inside the car. Dean opened the room door, allowing Cas to go in first. He stumbled in before collapsing on the floor. Dean rushed in at that exact moment, kneeling down next to the angel. 

"It's alright, I'm going to bandage your wounds and we'll go from there," Dean murmured, his voice soothing as he could manage," Oh, and talk if you want to, I'm not gonna stop you from it." 

Dean cleaned and bandaged Castiel's wounds as quickly and painlessly as he possibly could. He had managed to get Cas sitting up in a chair, no matter what it was he would care for the angel, his angel. 

"Cas, you can speak if you'd like I'm not going to stop you. I promise," Dean murmured, leaning over to place a small kiss to the angel's forehead," Say whatever you feel like and don't worry about consequences." 

"M-May I go take a shower," Castiel mumbled quietly, the most they had was a shared water basin on apprasal days. 

"Of course, I'm not gonna stop you," Dean replied. 

Cas got up and stumbled to the bathroom. He started the shower and got in, letting the water run over his skin and wings for a few moments before decimating a washcloth he found under the sink and a bar of soap. Dean grabbed some of Cas' clothes and set them on the sink. Cas came out just a few minutes later, a towel wrapped around his waist. He sat on the edge of the bed, keeping quiet as he let the air dry him. 

Dean knew the air was pretty cold in the room and thought that Castiel would likely get sick easy so he grabbed a towel and started drying him off. Cas couldn't feel the warmth of Dean's hands through the towel and felt a bit panicked and it was clear the other man picked up on this as he moved one hand so that it sat on the angel's shoulder. After that , he tossed the towel aside, moving his hand from Castiel's shoulder. Cas got up and went to the bathroom. He couldn't help but stare sadly at the clothes he used to wear, he felt as if he could not go back to wearing them because he would never be the same again. 

"Want something else to wear," Dean asked. 

"Yes, please, something...softer," Cas replied. 

Dean went over to a duffel bag in the corner of the room and dug out an old pair of sweat pants and brought them back over, giving them to Cas. The angel immediately slid the well worn sweats on and discarded the towel. He stumbled to the bed and sat down. His wings wrapped around himself as a comfort and that was just what he needed at the moment, comfort. Dean couldn't help but run his hand through the angel's hair. Castiel winced, forcing himself to think that he hadnt been where he was and he hadn't been yanked back by his hair too many times to count. Dean noticed his facial expression and dropped his hand to his side. 

"I'm so sorry," He murmured, noting that he shouldn't do that for now.

Dean did, however, pull Cas into a light hug, surprised when the angel wrapped his arms around him and started crying. Dean stood there and let him cry, holding him gently and at times rubbing his back or whispering things to him. Cas cried for what seemed like hours on end. When he finally pulled back, he felt better but turned a light color of pink and his wings fluffed out a bit at the sight of the wet spot on Dean's shirt. 

"S-sorry," he mumbled. 

"It's alright, you wanna know why," Dean replied, voice soft and caring. 

Castiel looked up, part of him curious part not but he nodded anyways. 

"I love you," Dean murmured," I want you to feel safe and know that." 

It all made sense now, the soft kisses, the gentle touches, he knew why and felt a lot of emotions on the fact but mostly happiness. 

"I think I love you too, Dean," Cas mumbled. 

Dean smiled and placed a hand on Cas's cheek. Castiel leaned into the touch, a small smile on his face. He looked up through his long lashes, happy for the first time in a long while. Dean smiled and placed a kiss on Cas's forehead. 

"You tired my angel," he asked softly. 

"Yes," Castiel replied, he half fell half laid back on the bed, one wing folded neatly behind him, the other lifted in open invitation for Dean. 

Dean had just slid off his shirt to get another one from the duffel bag when he noticed Cas holding his wing up. 

"Want me to lay with you," he asked quietly. 

Cas nodded in reply. Dean forgot the shirt and crawled into bed beside Cas. The angel instantly curled up against Dean, the skin contact comforting to him somehow. Dean kissed Cas's forehead before tucking his chin over the other's head protectively. Cas fell asleep before Dean did and Dean made sure the one he loved was asleep before he fell asleep himself.


	2. The Fall

Dean woke to the oddest feeling but remembered the events of last night, bending his head down to kiss the top of Castiel's head gently. Cas sighed a bit in his sleep and nuzzled closer to Dean, feeling comfort from the close skin contact that they had. Dean smiled, seeing he had slept through the night, actually thankful that the angel had but there was something off about it. He propped himself up on his elbow and saw two piles of black dust the shape of wings. He knew it was Cas's wings and that this would be a long day and possibly night. Cas whined in his sleep, holding tight to Dean, who somehow managed to get up with Cas cradled securely in his arms and moved him to the other bed, tucking him in. Cas whined again when Dean didn't lay back down beside him and curled into a tight ball under the blankets. He seemed to be freezing cold. Dean felt of his forehead and saw that he had a fever, it worried him but it wasn't so bad that he should panic. He kissed Cas’s head and tucked him in. He was worried that Cas was getting sick, but he wasn’t worried that it was something that he wouldn’t survive. When Cas’s whimpers got more frequent, he decided it was time to call in reinforcements. Bobby and Sam would hopefully be able to help get Cas moved out of the roach motel, as it seemed like it was only going to worsen his condition. He called Bobby first, then Sam, each agreed to help. Bobby was the first to get to the door, Sam a close second. Dean was sitting at Cas’s bedside, being very protective of him. When Bobby and Sam walked in, he turned instinctively and glared at them before relaxing, gently holding Cas’s hand, the other, placing a wet cloth on the man’s forehead. 

“What’s going on with Cas,” he asked, tone a bit panicked. 

Dean was getting more frantic by the moment, unsure of what to make of the situation. he had never known what to do. He knew how to take care of a sick person, sure, but an angel, he knew that was a whole different ballgame. Bobby was glancing around the room awkwardly. 

“Alright boys, we need to get this guy moved fast,” he said, obviously having figured out what was going on. 

“What’s going on with Cas,” Dean asked again. 

Sam had already moved to get Castiel from the bed but it was at that moment that Cas went to screaming. Sam immediately backed away, running across the room, a bit more than disturbed at the reaction. Dean leaned down, gently brushing a thumb across Castiel's cheek before placing a kiss on his forehead, instantly having a calming effect on him as he settled back, whimpering. 

"What was that," Sam asked. 

"I rescued him from an angel auction, he's a bit jumpy," Dean explained, still trying to soothe Castiel's whimpers. 

"A bit, try very jumpy," Sam said. 

"Poor kid," Bobby mumbled," He's falling from grace." 

"What? Will he be okay," Dean asked, looking up. 

"He'll survive but he'll be in a lot of pain for a good while," Bobby replied. 

Dean nodded, sliding his arms to lift Cas from the bed and cradled him against his chest. He seemed comfortable there, close to Dean and yet it was odd but Dean didnt care either as he carried the soon to be former angel to the Impala, sliding in the front seat with Cas on his lap, holding him against his chest. Sam checked them out of the motel and jogged to the Impala, sliding in the driver's seat. He followed Bobby to the his cabin, keeping a close eye on Dean and Cas. 

Bobby had gotten there first and set up a cot for Cas to spend the day and most of the night on. Dean laid Cas on the cot and kissed his forehead before moving away to get a bowl of water and a washcloth. The screams of pain started at about 8PM. Sam and Bobby felt it necessary to leave the room and shut the door, yet Dean sat through it all. Castiel's screams finally subsided at 6AM, but his fever was still high and he was shaking. Dean gently cleaned him off with a damp towel and dried him with another, noticing he had opened his eyes only slightly. 

"Hey there, how's my little angel doing," Dean murmured, giving him a small kiss on the forehead. 

Dean wasn't sure what to do an glanced at Bobby as he stepped in the room to check on them. Dean figured he needed to calm Cas down but when he went to pick him up Cas whimpered. Dean figured that he must have needed the close skin contact to calm him and took off his shirt and picked up Cas, who curled against him. Close skin contact was essential at calming him for the moment and Dean was exhausted and knew he was going to carry Cas to the room he had been using and have him sleep in there. When he sat on the edge of the bed he turned, laying Cas down first and got up, moving to the other side of the bed. He climbed in the bed and laid down beside Cas, holding him close again, placing his chin over the other's head, allowing Cas's head to rest just above his heart. 

Much to Dean's surprise as long as he wasn't away for too long, Cas didn't wake but longer than 5 minutes or so and Cas would be near tears. Dean, however always reassured him that nothing had changed and that he was going nowhere at all. Basically Dean spent a lot of the day laying with Cas, whose fever had yet to break. Bobby would stick his head in every now and then to see how Cas was doing, but all in all Cas refused to wake and no one could blame him because who would want to wake up in that condition. Dean was at least happy that he was sleeping. 

At around 6 or 7PM, Castiel's fever broke and he opened his eyes but the first person he looked for was Dean. He was afraid and didn’t want to be alone but it was one of those times that Dean had to stretch his legs. Cas immediately curled up in the tightest ball he could possibly manage and pulled the blanket over his head. Dean walked in only a moment later and saw what Cas had done. He sat on the edge of the bed and gently pulled the blanket back over the others head. Cas looked up almost instantly. 

"Hey there my little angel," Dean murmured with a smile. 

Cas sat up, a bit unsteady but smiling anyways. Dean moved closer to give him a bit of extra support and Cas almost fell against Dean. When his stomach growled, Cas gave him a panicked look. Dean kept himself from smiling at the former angel's confusion. 

"You're hungry, let's get you some grub," he whispered. 

"Dean, I don't think grubs are good to eat," Cas mumbled, a bit confused. 

Dean couldn't help but let a small laugh escape his lips. 

"No, Cas that's not what I meant. Grub is another word for food," he explained. 

Cas hid his face as it colored In embarrassment. Dean wrapped his arms around him, hoping to calm him down. He helped Cas up and they went to the kitchen. He knew the only way to get Cas to eat was likely to make burgers. There was a chair in the corner and he left Cas in the chair while he cooked. Cas didn’t talk much during that point, but kept quiet, still too exhausted to speak. Dean was concerned, but knew he should keep it toned down a good bit. He didn’t want Cas to be worried too much. He did, however sing a soft tune as he spoke, more of a comforting measure for Cas, other than that, he kept some of his attention on cooking, the rest on the former angel. He didn’t want him panicking so he stayed close, at least in the same room. After a while, the food was done and Dean supported Cas’s weight with one arm, holding the food with his free hand. He was careful not to cause Cas any pain, knowing he was likely sore, but didn’t hold back enough so that his weight wasn’t adequately supported. When they finally reached the table, Dean used his foot to nudge a chair from its place under the table and helped Cas sit before placing his food in front of him. Cas ate, which Dean was a bit worried that he wouldn’t, but stayed quiet all the same. He looked at books or something while waiting for Cas to finish eating. 

“Did you mean what you said last night,” Castiel asked suddenly.

“Of course I meant what I said, my silly angel, besides, why would I not,” Dean murmured with a soft, caring smile on his face,” We’ll get you healed back up and we can go from there, but we’re gonna focus on right here for now.” 

Cas smiled and nodded, pretty exhausted, but didn’t mind what he was being told at all. He thought it would be pretty good to be able to focus on the here and now, especially since he was with Dean and that meant he was safe and didn’t have to worry about being afraid anymore or being tortured. Dean silently promised to take care of Cas, even if it meant that he had to go to extreme lengths to do so.


	3. Failed Attempt For A Get-Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've noticed that the rating has gone up, I am planning to make the characterization of Dean closer by using some mild language, which I was afraid to use before.

It had been several weeks since Dean rescued Castiel from the auction and some of his shallower physical wounds were beginning to heal, they wouldn’t leave scars, but they would, however be those that were just temporary. Dean had a hard time playing nursemaid but constantly reminded himself that this was Cas and the former angel needed him now more than ever to show him the ropes and get him settled in. It was a task that no one was ever prepared for. He realized this but when he looked around the cabin, Cas was gone, and had been nowhere to be found since last night and it scared him. He really was nothing but a baby in a trenchcoat. 

“Cas,” Dean called out, forcing himself to remain calm quicker than anything else he needed to do. 

He ran around outside looking for the man, worried to death that he was hurt or even worse. Dean couldn’t handle himself if anything happened to Cas. He wouldn’t know what to do and would likely cry for days on end. In reality he was fighting back tears at the moment as his mind flashed through the worst case scenarios. Witches, Vampires, Crowley, even other angels could have gotten him by now. He had no clue where his angel was and it scared him to death. 

“Cas, come on, this isn’t funny,” Dean called out again. 

“Dean, calm down. Cas is a grown man, I’m sure he can handle himself,” Sam said, sticking his head out the front door of the cabin.

“No, Cas is a friggin baby in a trenchcoat. He can’t handle himself,” Dean snapped back. 

The anger was only half-hearted since he could only handle so much while looking for Castiel. He called out again, venturing off into the woods. He knew that Cas was just being Cas, but still the disappearing act was worse now than when he actually had his ‘angel mojo’ because it left him vulnerable and he had no clue whatsoever how to fight without use of whatever kind of power angels held. Dean was looking everywhere, constantly calling Cas’s name before a quick spell of silence to listen for a reply. He eventually made his way down a trail that seemed to be created recently, using some tracking skills. He saw Cas sitting on a rock in the middle of a raging stream. Cas had his legs pulled up to his chest and his face hidden in his lap. 

“Cas,” Dean called, a bit of caution in his voice. 

Castiel looked up at Dean, an expression of panic on his face. Dean was afraid that he’d get hurt more than anything else and quickly attempted to figure something out but Cas fell in the water, barely managing to catch himself on the rock.

“Dean, Help,” the former angel called out, voice cracking. 

Dean took off his long sleeve shirt and jumped into the water. He was more than certain that Cas couldn’t swim. He reached the rock with little difficulty, but had to start a bit upstream from where it was. Castiel was losing his grip and panicking. Before he lost his grip, Dean caught him with one arm, holding to the rock with the other. Dean was able to swim to the edge of the stream with Cas securely held against him. It was something that he had practice doing. He got Cas to his feet and led him from the water, noticing the other man was looking at the ground, Dean stopped and turned to face him. 

“What’s wrong Cas,” he asked, voice full of concern. 

“I am so sorry, please don’t hurt me,” Cas mumbled, slipping into the mindset he had been in for so long before Dean found him. 

“Cas, I’m not gonna hurt you. Tell me what’s wrong,” Dean said, voice soft again. 

“Please don’t punish me,” Cas mumbled again, obviously afraid. 

It took a moment for him to realize what was going on, but when he did, Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel, holding him close and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“I’m not gonna hurt you and you don’t have to worry about being punished here,” Dean murmured soothingly,” Now come on, my angel, let’s get you dried off.”

Cas just nodded against Dean’s chest, shivering ever so slightly. Dean smiled and turned, keeping an arm around his shoulders and led him to the cabin. He knew it was something that was going to happen because his angel had been through something that no one should ever go through. Once they were back at the cabin, Dean had Cas go take a warm shower while he dug up some warm clothes for the both of them. Cas turned on the shower and sat in the tub, letting the water warm him. After several minutes, Dean knocked on the door. Cas didn't react and so Dean pushed through the door and saw Cas just sitting there. He shook his head a bit and knelt down next to the tub. 

“How’s my angel,” Dean asked, voice gentle. 

“I am alright,” Cas responded quietly. 

“Good and you’ll stay that way,” Dean smiled before standing up to leave the room. 

Dean wasn’t really paying much attention, attempting to pick a movie for Cas to watch, pretty sure that he’d end up on the couch with him but he also knew that Sam went to pick up Gabriel some time ago and Adam was supposed to be coming over for some sort of picnic later. At the moment, Dean knew he had to spend time with Cas, if only to reassure his angel that everything was okay and that he didn’t need to worry about being ‘punished’. Emotional and mental scars ran deep and it concerned Dean with every moment, but he wanted to be sure that Cas would be alright. He picked up “101 Dalmatians” knowing it had been one of Cas’s favorites and put it in the DVD player. He didn’t like the movie but always sat through it for Cas’s sake, knowing he liked it. 

After a few minutes, Cas walked out of the bathroom, the bandages falling off of him. Dean quickly made his way over to Cas, grabbing the first aid kit on the way, easily lifting him to sit on the counter before starting to unbandage his wounds and easily bandaging them again. He helped Cas down before leading him to the couch. 

Cas sat down and Dean messed with the DVD player for some time before sitting beside him, not surprised when the other man leaned against him. He pressed a kiss to the top of Cas’s head and turned so that he was resting in a more comfortable position against his chest. He knew that he would pay more attention to the man he loved than the stupid kid’s movie. He really didn’t understand why Cas liked the stupid kid’s movie in the first place, but didn’t mind watching it with him because in all reality, they hadn’t watched the movie in forever. It was probably the first movie that Castiel had actually seen. Cas had pretty much collapsed against Dean, curling to his side and burying his face in the man's neck during some of the rougher parts of the movie. Dean held him closer during these parts and rubbed his back soothingly. 

"Turn it off, please, just..." Castiel mumbled quietly. 

Dean turned off the TV, pulling Cas close and attempting to soothe his whimpers. It didn’t work well enough and Dean just sighed a bit, which made the situation worse.

“D-don’t be angry with me,” Cas said, attempting to calm down. 

Dean just pulled him closer and kissed the top of his head, even on instinct rocking side to side a bit, which seemed to work well enough. 

“I was never able to stay mad at you for long,” he murmured softly, starting to hum ‘Hey Jude’ quietly as Cas gripped his t-shirt. 

After a while the former angel fell asleep, still curled against Dean. It was daylight outside and plenty of things could have been done, but he knew staying with Cas was probably the most important thing to him. He seemed to slide into that constant mode of holding his angel’s hand and showing him the ropes of being human, but now was the only thing that mattered and he knew that holding Cas close and reminding him that he was safe and anything he needed he just had to ask. Although the first few things that had to happen was that Dean had to teach him how to swim, but that was a long ways off yet and it was best not to think about it.He held Cas and let himself drift off to sleep. It was about an hour later that Sam woke Dean(after having taken pictures of course) and Dean shifted to sit up. Cas stirred, but didn’t wake and part of Dean was actually grateful for that fact. Gabriel, for once was unable to speak because of the shock of his brother's condition. He then proceeded to poke Castiel until he opened his eyes almost whimpering. 

"Gabriel, leave him alone," Dean scolded harshly. 

Cas whimpered again almost trying to sit up and back away from the warmth and safety of Dean's arms. Dean noticed this and dropped a kiss to the top of his angel's head, hoping to calm him back to sleep, which it did. He then turned his attention back to Gabriel, knowing it was best to try and be civil, if only for Cas. 

"What happened to him," Gabriel asked, a bit annoyed but the confusion evident in his voice. 

"I rescued him from an angel auction. He fell from grace that night and just has a lot of issues right now. He hasn't had a decent nights sleep since I rescued him, so please and I'm asking nicely for Cas's sake don't wake him up," Dean replied, looking down at Cas sleeping lightly against his chest. 

He calmed down a lot with the glance down at Cas, knowing this would be a long day. Cas woke up several minutes later, looking up even though his eyes were still closed. 

"Dean," he mumbled, voice still full of sleep. 

Dean smiled and placed a kiss on his forehead and rubbed his back gently. He didn’t want Cas to have to wake up unless he wanted to. Dean smiled and sat up a bit more. 

“Hey there, my angel, wake up when you want to, okay,” he murmured softly. 

“Hm, I guess he really is your angel. You bought him and,” Gabriel trailed off. 

Cas opened his eyes and was close to tears, holding on to Dean tightly. 

At that, Cas started crying, unable to contain his emotions as well as Dean was. At the moment, Dean wasn’t able to be civil for long. He somehow managed to get out of Cas’s tight grip, who totally lost it at him standing up. Dean sighed and punched Gabriel in the face before sitting down next to Cas again and pulling him close. He rubbed the other’s back and rocked side to side again, hoping to calm him and was more than relieved to have Cas fall back asleep in his arms. Sam wasn't too happy about what Dean had done and attempted to have a talk with him. 

“Dean,” Sam scolded. 

“What?” Dean asked, a childish smile on his face, which definitely earned his brother’s signature bitchface. 

Sam just rolled his eyes and walked away, not feeling like arguing and he knew that Dean wouldn’t argue with him anyways, so it didn’t matter at all if he said anything or not. Dean only smiled slightly and rubbed a small circle on Cas’s back, causing the other to make a happy hum as he snuggled closer to Dean, who could only chuckle a bit. Cas opened his eyes and looked up at Dean, through half-closed eyes and gave him a small, sleepy, smile. Dean smiled back, holding Cas tightly as he bent down, pressing a kiss to the other man’s forehead. It was around that time that Samandriel and Adam poofed into the room. 

“I guess someone decided to snuggle,” Adam mused with a small laugh. 

“He’s having a rough time, okay,” Dean tried to reason with the younger man, but still held Cas close.

It was Samandriel who noticed the bandages, but chose not to say anything about it as he knew it could quite possibly upset Cas and the former angel looked so content curled up against Dean’s chest. Dean smiled warmly at Samandriel, hoping that he wasn’t freaked out about the bandages too bad. If he was, then there was nothing that Dean could do other than explain what had happened at a later time. 

“What happened to Cas,” Adam asked. 

“Stupid demons and their angel auctions,” Dean sighed, holding Cas closer for a moment before calming down,” He’s lost all his grace, he’s healing though.”

Dean wouldn’t admit it but he was happy he had rescued Cas and was doing his absolute best to make sure he felt safe and wanted for good reasons, not evil intents and purposes. He also knew that Samandriel was looking sadly at his older brother and gave him an easy smile that parallelled one he would have given to Sam if he needed to reassure him that everything would be alright. Adam went to find Sam, leaving Samandriel standing in the livingroom with Dean, Cas, and Gabriel, who was still passed out on the floor. 

“Come sit on the couch with us,” Dean invited with a smile. 

Samandriel obeyed, sitting on the couch next to Cas, one arm accidentally brushing Cas’s knee and the former angel winced in his sleep. 

“He was in an angel auction? I knew demons were low, but not that low,” Samandriel muttered. 

“I know, it’s fine though. He’ll heal with time,” Dean said calmly,” The demons, just don’t worry about them, for now, I’m more focused on getting Cas healed up. He did say at one point he wanted to be a hunter. I guess he gets his chance to train once he’s healed up enough to begin training as one.” 

“Yeah, I guess so, but I’m still worried about my big brother,” Samandriel responded. 

“I know, it’s the kind of worry between brothers. Kind of like how I constantly worry for Sam’s safety,” Dean nodded,” I’ll look out for him because I know he needs it and I’m not gonna let anything bad happen to Cas.” 

Dean knew the best thing he could do now was to reassure Samandriel that everything would be okay, but he also knew that Castiel needed him with everything he was. Before he didn’t understand much, but the former angel had come a long way in several weeks. and Dean was happy with the progress and that he could teach Cas something new each day. Everything was a learning experience and it was a loving opprotunity. He even had plans to take Castiel to the nearby zoo when he healed more.


	4. Lost

Castiel had fallen less than a month ago. His knees had healed well enough that he was almost comfortable walking, but he did have some discomfort and Dean was sure he would have bad knees after this incident. Castiel had felt horrible being basically a baby in a trenchcoat. At first he had a hard time trying to figure out how to use a fork to eat spaghetti, one of the most basic things anyone learned how to do. He had hardly known how to bathe himself, actually it was Dean who would always help him get cleaned up. Everything was Dean’s helping. Everything and anything he didn’t know, Dean helped him no matter what and Cas was starting to feel guilty about having Dean fuss over him most of the time. He felt that he wasn’t a lost kitten that needed attention 24/7 and he hated himself for taking up all of Dean’s time. He sighed as he let a tear fall down his cheek and onto the paper he was currently writing on. The message read: 

“Dear Dean, 

I am sorry for this, but I must leave. I cannot take any more of your time and expect you to be happy with this. I wish that I could stay, but I do not wish that you are unhappy with me as I love you and you are the most important person to me. I could never live with myself if something happened to you because you were caring for me too much. I am so sorry to leave.

Love,   
Castiel” 

He tapped the letter to Dean’s door and left, just like that he was gone from the cabin and several miles down the road. Dean found the note several hours later and immediately woke Sam, who suggested they try to find him as soon as possible.

“Fuck,” Dean muttered. 

“We’ll find him,” Sam attempted reassuring his older brother.

Dean spotted a figure with short hair on the side of the road, made Sam stop to check if it was his angel, but it wasn’t. This happened seven or eight more times after that. It was late in the evening when the two finally caught up with Cas. Dean was the first to get out of the car. Without thinking, he put both hands on Castiel’s shoulders and shook him a bit. He was more angry than anything else and it scared Cas. 

“What the fuck were you thinking,” Dean yelled in the former angel’s face. 

Sam knew it was the best time to interfere was now before things got out of hand. He grabbed Dean by the collar of his jacket and drug him back several yards and had to physically keep himself from pushing Dean to the ground. 

“Let me ask you one thing. What the hell were you thinking Dean,” Sam asked,” You KNOW Cas has had a hard time. What the fuck made you think that screaming at him would help anything at all?” 

Dean opened his mouth as if to say something, but couldn’t find the words and promptly shut it. He knew full and well that he deserved whatever lecture that he was about to get. He looked over his shoulder at Cas sitting several yards away, sobbing so hard he was physically shaking and looked back at Sam. 

“I think I know more about long-term relationships than you do, but being nice to them usually works better than being a complete asshole,” Sam said, clearly angry,” Stay here and think about that while you calm down and come see Cas when you have. If you haven’t, then you’re walking home because the last thing Cas needs on his mind is someone angry with him and you know that more than anyone else.” 

Sam calmed himself before walking over to where Castiel was sitting on the ground, still crying. He knelt down next to the angel and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Penny for your thoughts,” Sam said softly. 

“Dean doesn’t care for me anymore,” Castiel mumbled quietly. 

“That’s not true. He’s just upset right now, I’m sure you meant the best, but just don’t do anything like this again,” Sam responded reassuringly 

“I’m not so sure of that now,” Castiel mumbled.

“He’s always cared for you, you can’t say that he hasn’t,” Sam said. 

Cas nodded, sure that he wasn’t going to win this argument. He was still crying, but wasn’t shaking anymore, even if Sam had to assist him to the Impala on account that he had bad knees. 

“Let’s go get you some ice cream and I know your knees are hurting. You walked seventeen and a half miles at one time. From what Dean told me, you’re gonna need some support behind those knees,” Sam said,” We’ll get you some braces to make them a bit stronger and then we’ll get some ice cream.” 

Sam felt like he was talking to a child, which technically was exactly what he was doing, even if said ‘child’ was 10,000 plus years old. He knew, however that ice cream was a comfort food and actually his choice comfort food. He also knew that Cas had never tried ice cream before and decided that now was probably a good time for him to try it, at least he hoped it was. Sam laughed at the way Cas’s eyes lightened at the suggestion of ice cream and helped the man buckle his seatbelt before pulling onto the road and leaving Dean there to brood silently. 

It had taken them exactly an hour and a half to get to the nearest pharmacy that was open and Sam picked up some different things. Ibuprofen, two ace bandages, two knee braces, and some other miscellaneous things to restock their first aid kit. His phone vibrated and he got a text from Dean. 

“I’m still stuck on the side of the damn road where you left me.”

Sam chuckled and replied the only thing he could actually think of.

“Good.” 

By this time, they had found an ice cream parlor and was sitting in a booth seat. Sam sipping on his fruit shake, Cas quietly nibbling at his sundae. 

“Dean will calm down eventually,” Sam stated. 

“I am not sure that is true,” Cas mumbled.

“He will, even if it’s on the walk home. Come on, let’s get out of here and you can finish your sundae in the car,” Sam smiled, getting up and waiting for Cas to do the same. 

It was ten o’clock before they reached Bobby’s house and Sam sighed, sending Cas upstairs to get some sleep and turning to his phone, sending Dean a text. 

“Dude, if you start walking now, you’ll reach home by midnight.” 

Sam crashed on the couch as usual in the circumstances they were in. It was midnight when Dean finally got back, he was exhausted and wanted to tell Cas he was sorry, but wasn’t quite sure if he’d accept the apology at all. He hated himself for upsetting one of the few people he’d give anything at all to protect. He sighed audibly as he made his way upstairs to his room, surprised to see Cas curled up under the covers, nearly passed out, but still fighting sleep. Dean slid in the bed and laid on his side, easily slipping his arms around his angel and pulling him close. He placed his chin on top of Cas’s and hummed a soft tune before realizing he should probably sing and so he started, singing softly.

 

“Hey Jude, don’t be afraid,   
you were made to   
go out and get her  
Remember to let her under your skin  
Then you begin to make it better.” 

It took by the end of the song for Castiel to roll over and curl up against Dean, who only held him close gently until he noticed that Cas wasn’t asleep and somewhat confused. 

“Cas, I’m sorry man, okay,” Dean whispered quietly. 

He didn’t like chick flick moments, but he had a soft spot for them when he was down and that was his biggest secret. Cas stayed curled close and half-asleep. Dean forgot how good it felt to have Cas curled up against him like a scared child and just held him, rubbing circles on his back, hoping that he’d forgive what he had done. He couldn’t let anything happen to Cas and if it did, he knew that it would be bad on both of their parts. Dean would never forgive himself for letting Cas get hurt and he felt like it was more of a protective instinct than anything else, but he just allowed it to happen so easily. He pressed a kiss to Castiel’s forehead before pulling him closer. 

“I love you,” he murmured.

Dean didn’t say something like that unless he really meant it and with Cas, he definately meant it. 

“I love you too, Dean,” Cas mumbled his sleepy reply. 

At that moment, Dean felt a wave of relief wash over him as he held his angel close and they both fell asleep.


End file.
